Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Post-election Thunks

After a long day of tracking, canvassing, and in general going ARGH!, the election is over. The new President-elect is Barack Obama, elected in a landslide, as predicted. More on that and its future here.

But I also was tracking ballot issues nationwide
and can’t figure this out at all:
  • Arizona voters got smart and voted to ban taxes on property sales or transfers, but then got stupid and banned gay marriage and shot down a Homeowners’ Bill of Rights.
  • Arkansas voters got really stupid and voted to allow idiots and the insane to vote (kid you not) and then banned unmarried cohabitating couples from adopting.
  • California voters…nevermind. We’re beyond fucked up here. Just call us Stupidfornia. We voted to build a railroad, ban gay marriage, give chickens bigger cages, and state mortgages for veterans. I voted no on all 12 propositions, so at least I can sleep well at night with enough booze to numb the pain. Now we'll see Stupidfornians riding the Springfield Monorail with free-range, hetero-only, married chickens to a veteran's house.
  • Colorado voters got stupid and shot down opening up union shops and banning mandatory union payroll deductions for state employees, but then they got smart and shot down five tax increases, the personhood amendment, saved TABOR, and added craps and roulette to Central City, Blackhawk, and Cripple Creek.
  • Florida voters had the sense to ban certain property improvements from being included in property tax assessments, but then they got stupid and banned gay marriage.
  • Iowa voters also got stupid and voted to allow idiots and the insane to vote. Must have been the Arkansas folks bussed in.
  • Louisiana voters got smart and voted down easing restrictions on blight to facilitate eminent domain takings.
  • Massachusetts voters got smart and decriminalized MJ, but then got really stupid and voted down a tax cut and voted to ban greyhound racing. 2000 hounds will need homes from that, adopt if you can, please!
  • Michigan voters got smart and passed MMJ.
  • Nebraska voters got smart and passed a discrimination ban. Colorado voters had one on the ballot as well but the totals aren’t in yet.
  • Nevada voters got really smart and passed a very tight eminent domain reform.
  • Ohio voters got smart and gave property owners their water rights.
  • Oklahoma voters pre-empted the PETA pukes and passed a right to hunt/trap/fish amendment (got 80% in the no-brainer vote of the year, why 20% voted against it is beyond me!).
  • Oregon voters got stupid and voted down deducting federal taxes from state income and refused to allow home renovations under $35K to not have a building permit (here in CA, we just ignore the permits and do it to code anyway).
  • South Dakota voters came to their senses and shot down its abortion ban.
  • And Washington voters got smart and decided to let people do us all a favor and let us help each other kill ourselves with assisted suicide.

There is no pattern here, save one: people are stupid.

Obama finished his victory speech with the traditional "God Bless America."

To that I add, "Gods Help Us!"

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